Ep. 01: I Want to Speak With a Manager

Most people should never be managers of other people — it’s not for the emotionally unintelligent.

From my perspective as someone who has worked in multiple different organizations, as both a leader and individual contributor, it comes down to how a manager encourages and supports autonomy and agency among their team; how I have chosen to lead when I was a leader; why other leaders suck, and how fear plays a role in all of it.

This episode about management was interesting to think about and then word vomit my lived experiences on both sides of this cumbersome coin. As a person who thinks about the words I use often, and quite rapidly when thinking and writing, it was important I start with the context around words like autonomy and agency.

Dig into any quality academic research articles about management and organizational behavior and these are two words that probably cited or the focus on the research.

As a neurodiverse person, I strongly require autonomy and agency in my life. I think that is compounded by my being an only child, a Black cisgender woman, and someone who has been the “black sheep” in many areas of my life.

Autonomy and agency are often stripped away from direct reports by managers and leaders because they fear allowing people to be themselves — probably because they lack the ability to be themselves or accept that being so is integral to growth professionally and personally.

After I lament for too long on the definitions for autonomy and agency, we move into to how I have led when I was in leadership roles. So far as a leader, I have been a Director of Marketing, VP/Director of Social Strategy, and Director of Product Marketing.

In every single leadership role I have held formally, I have always expressed to my direct reports that I don’t want to micromanage them. I want to build and flex their muscles of autonomy and agency. What is the point of being a leader if you stifle people and turn into mini versions of your emotionally unintelligent ass?

The reason I have always known what type of leader I would be when I had the access and opportunity to do so is because as a Black cisgender neurodiverse woman I have repeatedly been exposed to (directly and indirectly) sucky ass managers and leaders.

Typically cis-het white males and then in close second white women who think we’re exactly same, sharing the exact same struggles and systemic oppression, when we never have and never will, find themselves placed into leadership and management roles without ever being qualified or healthy-minded for those they will “lead.”

It’s like being a ferris wheel when you have extreme motion sickness, are deathly afraid of heights, and want off the shits after one go-around. Why do so many managers and leaders suck? tl;dr: white supremacy — but I promise I go into my POV without even talking in depth, or often, about white supremacy in this episode.

Are you listening?